Taking ground

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Great testimonies from men in the room about how their lives are being changed, how they’re healing, how they are prospering, standing up for themselves, loving themselves are so common I need a big box of most improved trophies to hand out. Josh Watkins, a group leader in the room just emailed this to me, pretty cool.

This has been an overwhelmingly stressful few months but but because of the tools I’ve learned, the relationships I have developed, and the new clarity of mind I now have it has allowed me to rise in a healthy way and do what needs to be done in the middle of some crazy chaos right now. 

Currently in my life I am running two businesses one of which has an employee who is having surgery next week and the other that has many logistics that must be worked out from a distance in the next week. I am currently working a second job out of town in open heart surgery on top of that I am living with my parents for the days at a time while I work here. I am on call 24/7 and have been for about 5 months. I have a three year old daughter who is in ICU after being flown there without me yesterday. I am unable to go to her and my wife for three more days due to the nature of being on call. I myself have been sick for over a week.

I have a daughter with a serious boyfriend and we have completely open communication. I have a very good relationship with my 13 year old son and we talk about everything. My seven year old daughter adores me. My wife’s heart is finally resting secure in me after almost two years of sobriety and investment back into our marriage. I know this because we talk constantly about everything and when I opened my travel bag this weekend, there was a note inside telling me that I have finally become her other half in a way that she didn’t know was possible.
I just took a shower after working out and feel absolutely no desire to act out. I feel as though the Lord has spoken to me today telling me that what was my greatest weakness (acting out sexually and porn), has become in turn the very thing that has led to my time of greatest strength. I feel solid, confident, powerful, and at peace. None of the above was possible in my life for over 17 years. I lived in daily failure, fear, and anger.

All this stress would have in the past pushed me over the edge, but that’s not even close to where I’m at today through surrender to Jesus as well as being proactively involved in other men’s lives and battles, I have become a warrior that is winning, and taking ground rather than cowering in the corner.

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